A morning with Jared...

I wake to the sound of someone talking with a paci in his mouth. Someone who has gotten out of his own bed trotted across the house and into my bedroom to say "goodmorning there will be no more sleeping in this house". Squinting I can hear him get more animated as he knows he has finally woken me up. I give in and he follows me around as I get ready running ahead of me to the kitchen when I suggest we have breakfast. I settle him onto the couch with his cereal and milk so I can take a shower in "peace" (meaning only 1 or 2 interuptions instead of 500). When I exit the shower he is waiting in the bedroom with me with our family portrait that he has stolen off an end table. He points excitedly over and over at Jesse exclaiming "daddy daddy" just in case I forgot who that was. I rescue the picture (for now) and ask if he would like a bath. In answer he takes off running across the house to his bathroom to stand beside the tub and wait to be put in. I start the water and as I am not moving fast enough he decides to make his best effort at climbing in by himself (pajamas and all). Thankfully his legs are just a little too short. I undress him, help him into the tub, wash him and then leave him to play in the water for a while. Later I start the water draining while he keeps playing. At one point I leave and come back to find the water has finished draining and Jared has the soap and washwrag in hand getting ready to re-wash his body only with no water. I rescue the afor said items and fish him out to dry and lotion up. He insists upon helping with the lotion which is in a pump bottle so when we are done the bottle has as much lotion on the outside as he does. I have forgotten to get a fresh diaper and his ointment so I run to his room grab them. In the few seconds I am gone he dashes completely naked out of the bathroom to his firetruck in the hall (this is a ride on toy). Once straddled upon it I hear the tell tell sound of liquid hitting a hard floor. He is sitting back hands on his thighs watching as he pees on the firetruck upon which he is sitting and everthing else in range. The humor in this is that it is a fire truck and I guess perhaps it needed a "hose". I carry him quickly to his potty chair but he is finished and doesn't want to stay there. I wipe down his legs then go grab a towel to clean my hardwoods before the moisture makes a mark. I return to his room to find him, still completely naked diving around in his ball pit. When he gets out he has a ball stuck between his fat little thighs (I'm sure the lotion helped this). I just about have him down on the floor ready to be diapered when Jesse calls wanting to know "what are you guys up to?". Moments later Jared is finally clothed and decides all this work had made him hungry for a mid-morning snack. He runs to the kitchen to ask for applesauce. Glad to have him stuck in one place I put him in his highchair with the applesauce, a bib, and a spoon. I come back when he is finished to find that he dropped a huge spoonful down his front and UNDER the bib so that his shirt he has been wearing all of 10 minutes is soaked in applesauce. I change him into a second shirt and wonder how many more hours before Jesse comes home for lunch and Jared goes down for a nap?